END AND BEGIN

what's left of the rest of 2007 is filling the next few hours and i am most excited about the arrival of 2008. i'm not so much excited about the eve and ball drop and drunken celebrations, as i am about the year itself and how much goodness it holds.

for some reason i can't shake the feeling of how wonderful this year will be. like big things are happening and will only continue to happen. it may not be something you see right in front of you...or see at all. it may be disguised in all things terrible. but it is there. and it will come. like it is only waiting for you to grasp ahold and believe it.

it seems that the only consistency in our lives is change. and more and more i am coming to see that only as a good and wonderful thing. i love it. i look forward to what more will come and the brilliance it will bring with it. i treasure the memories i've had and i look forward to making new ones. i look for all things to continue to grow more beautiful. i look forward to becoming more whole. i look forward to meeting more people, and loving the ones i know more fully. i look more for truth and God's purposes in my life. i look to know Him more because when i do the things He asks me to do are so understood and come so easily.

i'm scared as hell. i see my own frailty. i see my own weaknesses that have left me leaving others broken and myself. that have fractured my friendships. that have kept me from everything i want most to be. that keep me stalling. that keep me doubting. that everything i do only builds the distance to where my greatest need will be met.

but that is all left behind. because the mountains are behind us. they have been leveled. the promises have been given. and God has and continues to provide for us.
'IF GOD IS FOR US, WHO THEN CAN POSSIBLY BE AGAINST US'

I pray this promise be yours for the new year as it is mine to claim.
Let us live the next year, and every one hereafter, knowing that although the things around us get worse and worse, we ourselves are being healed, becoming whole, and only better and in turn all things will follow as well.

I would like to learn to live in the way that 'they will know that you are mine when they see the love you have for each other'.

HAPPY NEW YEAR FRIENDS! I am so grateful for each of you, and how much you have and continue to teach me each and everyday. Here's to you!

i haven't much to say and that i have is wasted anyway

unpack this wounded heart
take apart all i've thrust inside
tear them from the walls
entangled in the chambers
these nails i've been driving
self-inflicting pain inscribing
draw them away
like a magnet
bind up the tears
wait for the healing
to fill these walls with breath
and blood and life
and all things meant for loving
hereby living
hereby dying
to everything but you

AGAIN AND AGAIN

and so
i've conquered one
to find
i treat the rest the same

and where i thought to have victory
i find i have a long ways to go

distractions always find me
and too many things
always in my way

but this is only another chance
for you to prove yourself again

i don't see the way
i question
but you're in control

i just want to be aware


you wanted me to wait...

EIGHT!

Two things today:

It is my mum's birthday! She is quite the fantastic person for any of you that know her, apologies to those who don't. I hope you to exchange friendly conversation and become known by each other someday :D this is the card i made for her rather quickly:



AND I AM SO EXCITED ABOUT ALL THINGS CHRISTMAS!!!! WOO HOO!!! this is my tree: (the fish frightens my mother so my sister bought her poinsettas that are twice as big as my tree...oh well) Happy Holidays friends!

WHA?!

this made me laugh really hard today:




yes, it is the first ever fragrance for dogs made by juicy, called 'juicy crittoure'.

you can even get the whole set which includes, shampoo, conditioner, and nail polish.

who wouldn't want a dog? beats me. tsh.

get up off of dat

it was heard today that:

"the righteous may fall seven times, but will stand again"


in other words, rather, my words:

don't get stuck on the aspect of failure
but get up and try again until success is reached.

sometimes it takes a few mistakes to figure out how to NOT do something until you break through to the success. those who get there are the ones who aren't afraid to risk because they aren't afraid to fail. because they keep fighting until they get it right.

i pray to be that.

now the flip side of course is the popular definition of insanity:

"doing the same thing, the same way, over again and expecting different results"

so we must have an open mind to learn from the failures we have, but not to despair in them. they do not define us if we choose to grow from them.